Baba’s Return Waits on Your Enlightenment

Shared by: Mrs.Yaani Drucker

This is from Yaani Drucker, the author of  "Not Guilty".

Yaani and her husband Al Drucker (Author of Sai Baba Gita) are well known Sai devotees.

Not to be missed!

Baba’s Return Waits on Your Enlightenment

We all want God’s grace, right? What is God’s Greatest Grace? Baba says, “My greatest Grace is the 3 zero’s - that is, I will take away your riches, your reputation, and your relations.” That’s God’s greatest grace? Who in their right mind would ask for that?

Only one who wants liberation will embrace this ultimate expression of God’s love. Baba says, “I give you what you want, so you will come to want what I have truly come to give you, namely liberation itself.”

On a particularly memorable trip to the ashram, after only his first darshan, Al was blocked from entering the ashram compound, ‘for getting married.’ In an interview, perplexed, I asked Baba for His blessings to marry Al Drucker. I had, after all, received many intimations that same was indeed God’s will. Not only that but I was very much in love, and was satisfied that my heart was pure and that I was not interested in a very prominent Sai devotee for the wrong reasons.

Baba’s gruff reply: “Why do you want to marry that man? His body is filled with cancer.”

Without skipping a beat, I answered, “Baba, I love him. I’ll take care of him.”

At that point Baba shouted, “You’re worse than an animal.”

What? How does standing with my soul companion in his hour of need, make me worse than an animal? Only much later did I understand that Baba was not responding to those words, but rather to the circumstances under which I had already given myself to the man I love as no other. Baba says, “Animals have a reason and a season. Man has no reason and no season.”

Now, would it come as a great surprise that what spread through the ashram like wildfire was not that I love Al and will take care of him, but rather the part about being worse than an animal. I came away from the interview knowing that I could not walk away from Al, even of God himself were against the relationship.

Next visit to the ashram, I asked the ashram director to ask Baba to please forgive Al and me and to please permit Al to return to the ashram. Later two strapping men knocked on my door and asked if I was Mrs. Drucker. Upon admission, they asked me to leave immediately, quoting Baba as having said, “She’s a disgrace to the ashram.”

It so happened that just prior to this visit, I dropped in on some dear friends. He took out his deck of tarot cards and I chose the card on which was written ‘disgrace.’ Jim said, “Great card; means ‘God’s grace.’” I took my dismissal as God’s grace.

When I returned home, with this further evidence against me, Al too became convinced that my earlier constant assurances about our union were not from a pure place. Had Al asked Baba directly, he would have known for himself one way or other. I would have been wise to wait.

I was dubbed ‘the lady of ill repute’ both at the ashram, and also in my own home, from the man I love with all my heart soul and strength and was willing to walk into hell for? How could having my reputation so tarnished be God’s greatest grace?

I was felt completely alone. Baba too kept up the heat; in my next interview when I again pleaded for Baba to take Al back, Baba gruffly retorted, “Why should I take him back? He’s a very bad man, and you also sometimes very bad,” I had nowhere to turn but within. It took me 10 long agonizing years to internalize all that had taken place, 10 years of accepting that I was the worst person in the universe, before I finally dared to ask myself what exactly was my crime? Upon daring to look, all I could see was that I had married the man I loved as no other, and had stuck by him through thick and thin. My love never waivered for Al, for Baba, or for all my Sai family.

Once you realize you are in jail for a crime you never committed, you want out more than anything else in the whole world. That is exactly where Baba needed me to be. When we really look carefully, we see that we are all in jail, all behind bars, all on death row. The thing is that most of us go along with the unjust verdict because somewhere within us we are actually convinced that we are guilty. Only when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are and have always been innocent, will you demand your freedom with everything that is in you. Once you one pointedly demand your freedom, it cannot be denied.

In ‘unjustly’ losing my reputation, I discovered that I was never guilty and that I deserve to be in heaven with God NOW. Is it necessary for you to undergo such a strenuous outer journey, to reach that inner realization? Of course not. You can change your mind NOW. You too can see that you are in jail because you thought you were guilty, when you were actually always innocent, without undergoing the loss of reputation.

We all thought that we had defied God in making ego to replace God, and thus we deserve the self-imposed bondage that we have all succumbed to in this illusory world of sickness, suffering and death. In making ego to replace God, we did nothing wrong. God is still our creator, and He still loves us all with the love of a thousand mothers. Most of us are not even in touch with this primordial guilt, but we do all experience, to some extent, sickness and suffering and our all lives will most assuredly culminate in death, and we simply accept all these eventualities as somehow good and right, and even God’s will. It is this blind acceptance of life’s unkind vicissitudes that exposes our unfounded guilty verdict. Once we know our innocence, we know that we deserve the very best only and always.

Ego needs us guilty in order to exist. As long as we view ourselves as guilty, so long we will accept that we deserve punishment, and so long ego keeps us bound to time, to reincarnating again and again and again, so as to exist at our expense. Once we truly see our innocence, ego loses its grip over our minds, and we are free. We don’t have to lose our reputation in order to see that. That is all the loss of reputation gave me. Why not see it NOW, without having to endure the agony of God’s Greatest Grace?

God wants us all enlightened, and hopefully that can be accomplished without the devastation of loss of reputation, riches or relations. Surely, just one of us undergoing such agony is enough for all of us to wake up. I don’t want you to lose your reputation. That, for me, was pure hell. My prayer is that you be free of ego by gently getting what became obvious to me through much struggle and suffering. The only purpose for sharing that I am awake, is in hopes that it will plant the seed that you too can reach enlightenment, even NOW, and that you deserve nothing less and should settle for nothing less, with all your heart, soul and strength because of who you are and have always been.

Things did come full circle when in very my last interview Baba said, “I love you. You are ALWAYS working for Me.” Aahhh, what sweet music after a very long arduous trek – a journey without distance to a place I never left, not in truth.

I don’t know what if anything, my journey to enlightenment has to do with furthering Baba’s return, but maybe, just maybe His return waits on your enlightenment. Who if not you? When if not now?

Those ‘enlightened’ saints and sages in temples and caves, chanting the eternal “OM” are doing more for the world than all other worthy causes combined. Yearning for Baba to return in a worthy cause, but desiring your enlightenment is an even more powerful herald of the Golden Age to come. Baba is coming back to usher in the Golden Age, and for that He needs a critical mass of us enlightened.

The greatest service you can render to the planet is to wake up to the truth of who you are. The greatest service! Greater even than yearning for Baba to return and save the planet.

Blessing and love, Yaani

Posted by Aanchal Sai Sharma & Sneha Sharma


Rama2014-12-01 03:01#
Wonderful, Ma. svAtmAvabodhAdadhikaM na kiMcit (There is nothing greater than understanding one's own Self).
yaani drucker
yaani drucker2014-12-07 15:50#
There is nothing greater than Self - Knowledge - Sai Ram Rama
SAMY2014-12-01 06:23#
Jim Martineau
Jim Martineau2014-12-01 19:08#
These are truly beautiful comments. Thank you Yaani. We love you. God is Great!!!!! Sai Ram.
yaani drucker
yaani drucker2014-12-07 15:50#
Hi Jim - Love you too :) Yes, God is great . Sai Ram Brother
steve pearce
steve pearce2014-12-04 08:58#
Simply BEAUTIFUL, thankyou for sharing. OM SRI SAI RAM.
yaani drucker
yaani drucker2014-12-07 15:53#
So very welcome dear brother - It's my honor and joy to share my heart with you. Om Sri Sai Ram
K S Murthy
K S Murthy2014-12-14 17:14#
Sai Ram Mrs.Drucker,

Thank you for your nice post containing great advice to the spiritual seekers and adventists. The post acquires significance due to its topicality.

While reading your words like "[…] surely one of us undergoing such agony is enough for all of us to wake up […]" tears rolled down like molten lead and whatever stubborn knots still remaining in my heart were untied.

There are several cases of apparent "unjust verdicts" of Bhagawan Baba, but yours is unique. Like a good teacher using various teaching aids to drive home the point, the Divine Universal Teacher used Druckers to effect a quantum transformation in the lives of thousands of seekers. Your spiritual classics- Mr Al Drucker's 'Sai Baba Gita' and your 'Not Guilty'- will continue to be guide books for seekers, like Baba's Vahinis, till eternity.May Baba bless both of you to guide many more seekers!

Sai Mission and the posterity owe a lot to both of you.

Thanks to Ted Henry and Sreejith for taking us to the proximity of these saints through souljourns and respectively.

We, the STKCians, will find several miraculous incidents in the free ebook "Not Guilty''- incidents that support our beliefs. Your assertions and axioms like "Baba had rearranged time. How is that possible? Perhaps time is not real. Sai Baba, who knows its unreality can use it to serve a greater purpose" […] "There are innumerable accounts through out history of time and space being rearranged. Anyone who awakens to the truth has power over time and space because he recognizes their unreality […]" "Is it possible that all of time is going on all the time? Is it possible that it is not sequential as it appears?" All these were aptly supported by Divine miracles caused by Baba all over the world.

After going through the several detailed accounts contained in "Not Guilty", where Baba created beings, objects, condensed and expanded time and space , we will comprehend the mighty power of Baba and understand how 'child's play like' it is for Him to come back in Sri Sathya Sai Form!

May Baba use each one of us in creating 'critical mass' required for heralding Golden Age!

Please share your insights from time to time,

Sai Ram

k s murthy
yaani drucker
yaani drucker2014-12-20 23:07#
Dearest Friend in Sai - Thank you with all my heart for such beautiful loving words which make my heart sing and my soul soar - these words:

...tears rolled down like molten lead and whatever stubborn knots still remaining in my heart were untied.
yaani drucker
yaani drucker2014-12-21 01:03#
I am willing to do anything, absolutely anything toward the enlightenment of all of us. As I see it, we are none of us truly free until we are all free. Just want us all to cut to the chase. Be about waking up. What else is more important? The world depends on it. I never think of myself as 'prominent,' only that we are all one, and that together we make the world a better place, by uniting in the ONE truth, by individually stepping away from ego and into the unity of our oneness, our equality, with each other and with our beloved Baba who says, 'I have come to tell you that you and I are exactly the same.' Jai Sai Ram
Jim Martineau
Jim Martineau2014-12-22 05:16#
Thank you dearest sister Yanni. Loving you so so much.
S.NAGARAJAN2015-01-04 03:58#
Sairam! Two things strike me here! Swami before passing away, one or two years ago has given an historic discourse. In that He emphasized, "I am not Sathya Sai Baba!, the name given by parents subsequent to my birth! I am I. Unless one had a grounding in Advaita philosophy, it is very difficult to understand this great Truth. Several times, He has affirmed, I AM GOD, YOU ARE GOD, I KNOW THAT I AM GOD BUT YOU DO NOT KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOD! Most of the devotees simply hear those seminal Truths and when we leave the compound of Prasanthi, we once again assume our old propensities. I have seen several students of Baba, including my son to revert to materialism after studying in Swami's Collage! Why? Maya is so thick and it is an iron chain and it is not easier to break it. Swami Vivekananda realized that He is vast and infinite and hence he could break the chains to pieces. Whereas Anjaneya become so humble and small, he could simply sleek through the chains!. But we are neither Vivekananda nor Anjaneya. We are sadly in the middle. Full with Ego and selfishness (though introducing ourselves as devotees of Bagawan, whereas Swami has said, He is still searching for a True Devotee,) we depend on His benign mercy to escape this strange situation. Chanting his name is the only panacea! Om Sri Sai Ram.

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Published by Aanchal Sai Sharma & Sneha Sharma

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